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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
and a joke at the bottom of the page.
Charismatic: None, just believe that it's changed.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against
the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees
to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks
and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him
how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write
a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday
service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely
out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide
lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered
dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
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Three Christians died and went to hell, a Charismatic, a Baptist, and
a Penticostal.
The Penticostal woke up in hell and said, "I must have commited some sin just
before I died that I did not get forgiveness for."
The Baptist said, "I don't know how I got here, once saved always saved."
The Charismatic woke up in hell and said, "I'm not even going to confess that
I'm here."
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